If i were given a second chance, i would kiss both sides of my mother's cheeks and told her that i love her so much. I would say that i am sorry. For a thousand times, i would apologize to her for everything that i had done. However, it was too late now. As my hands gripped tightly the umbrella i was holding, my mind travelled back for about 25 years ago.
At the time, my family was a very happy. Eventhough i had no other siblings, my parents really loves me very much and they would pour all their heart to me. My father may always be busy but my mother who was a housewife, would spend all her time by my side. For the first eleven years of my life
I was in the seventh heaven I would say. A year had passed and suddenly, my father had a heart attack. Everything came crushing down on my weak, lifeless body as I heard the doctor said that he was gone forever.
Everything changed after that. We had to move to a smaller house and my mother had to work hard to support our living. Because my father had a few debts that needed to be settled because of the previous high standard of living, my mother had to work for five jobs a week. I even had to work for part time job after school. This life went on four years but we still had to suffer horribly throughout the day. As I reached 17 years old, my hatred towards my horrendous life grew more and more until I could not take it any longer.
I started to rebel towards my life. I did not understand why I needed to suffer like this while other teenagers did not. I hated my life and I wanted to get out of it as soon as possible. Not caring to anyone, I studied very hard and finally, I was accepted to a medical school across the country. Could not wait to get out of that suffering house, I flew straight to the medical school ignoring my mother’s attempt to stop me. Eventhough in the end she left me go, I could still remember how her tears could not stop rolling down her cheeks and she kept on reminding me that I should come visit her sometimes. Still, I did not care. I just wanted to get out from there.
Then, I studied and studied until I finally achieved my P.h.D in medics. In 5 years I studied there, I did not even bother to ask about y mother’s well-being or write her a letter. I was too busy with my studies to care about a small matter like that. After that, because of my high performance in the medical school, I was offered a job as a doctor in one of the most prestigious hospital in the country. I was so happy with my life now because finally, I got what I wanted. In two years, I got married, bought a big house and luxurious cars and everything that I was fantasizing in my old, shack i would say. Then, I remembered how was my mother’s doing throughout these years. She tried once to call me when I was working to tell me that she was sick and I should come for a visit. However, I scolded her as the answer of the suggestion and saying that I was too busy to care for her. At the time, I believed that she was only lying to trick me to go back to that house. I even did her bother to invite her to my wedding as I knew that she could not afford anyway to come here.
Out of the blue, a phone call came one day on my cellphone.I did not bother to answer it since I was busy with my patients and the number also showed it was from my old village. So, I just let it in the voice-mail box. After a couple of days, I suddenly remembered about the voice-mail box and hesitatingly, I listened to it for the first time. Then, the second time and the third time. After the fifth time repeatedly listened to that one voice-mail, my eyes could not stop flowing with tears. I cancelled all my appointments for that day and immediately flew straight back to my village still could not believing what I had heard the last few hours.
So, here I was standing in the rain with an umbrella gripped tightly in my hand in front of my mother’s cemetery. She was buried two days and died because of heart failure. Now, I realised that everything that I achieved in my life was all in vain if I could not even cure my own mother’s pain. I was too caught up with my own life and depression that I was blind to see that my mother was also feeling the same way. If only I could turn back time. If only I were given a second chance. If only I opened my eyes and faced the reality eye to eye, all of there would not had happened.
Prepared by : Puteri Wafa Dusturina Bt. Tuan Ghazali, 5ST1 2010 SMK TUMPAT
Edited : Ainul mardhiah Abd Wahab, SMK TUMPAT