Saturday, April 9, 2011

Writing from life experience : my dearly loved mother

Fourth September  Friday 11.15 pm 2010,  the unforgettable day  on which my dearly loved mother was gone to meet her Creator.   The poignant episode is always neatly  fold in the back of my mind.   Everything came crushing down on my weak, dead beat , lifeless body as i witnessed her last breath-in and breath-out and  very slowy her  soul embarked  to the place of the period from death to judgemant day.  Losing someone you love is the thing you dont’t want to  endure but i accept the fate written for my mother.
            She was in a great suffering for 6  months before her death.  She was almost bed ridden but she braved herself to get up and walked outside of her room to pep out her frail body.  A - laze portable chair that ‘s what we call was where she would lie her feeble body on whenever she was in the living room.  The chair was placed next to the sliding door and the breeze moved into the living room livened her up.  We used to have a chat and it ended when she asked to take her leave to her  room.
            Sick people always  need someone to be at their side so did my mother. She would  never  bear to lose me and my sister  from her sight.  Her cellphone was her option whenever she was alone.  When i was at work she kept on  calling me.  Always i well up in tears for i could not be able to be at her side 24 hours a day.  I  should have been with her  around the clock especially when she was eminently in pain.  A zillion thanks to my sister for  taking a month leave only to look after my mother.  She has sacrificed a lot.  Thanks sis !
            It ‘s true what people say that ‘ do it now for time will not repeat’.  I thought i always procastinated  good deeds that i should do to her.  I should not  have said’ later’ to the job of brushing her teeth, massaging her back and legs, and cleaning her feet’s nails.  I was immensely discontented to myself upon the delays.   The  guilts come and haunt me at times when i flash on the memories of her. I wish i could turn back time.......
            Her sacrifices, compassion  and  affection  are beyond  words to describe.  But,  at least, i was relieved for i was able to voice  her out 3 words ‘i love you’ and that made me more accountable  to serve  her  until  the end of her breath. 
Remembering her is a teary moment  but the tears make me even stronger and determined to ‘contribute’ to her more.  And my mother, she will always be my hero  and  no one will ever take her place.  Mother i love you from the underneath of my pure heart.  Thank you for all the things that you have done.  I am not be able to recipcrocate all your sacrifices...but what i can say  is zillion thanks and i miss you always. 
            Death will ultimately pounce on all of us, sooner or later, unannounced.  Who are we to dictate the cycle of life ?  No one !


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